The impetus for this piece came at a time when I felt that my creative inspiration had stagnated. I had spent the previous three years trying to make music that was more intellectually stimulating than emotionally driven and a romantic relationship that turned toxic left me feeling worthless and without a coherent sense of self. These events brought me to a place where I began to fear whether or not the music I wrote was valuable or even worthwhile.

This coincided with a pair of serendipitous events. My mentor, Professor Scott Tegge, asked me to compose a work for the Illinois tuba and euphonium ensemble and I finished a read of one of my favorite novels—Frank Herbert’s Dune. Despite having played the tuba and the euphonium for many years, having arranged many works for Tuba Quartet and tuba/euphonium ensemble, and having composed nearly 200 works, I have never actually written something original for this medium. I was struck by this parallel of themes present in my life and the conditions of the Duke Leto Atrades and his son Paul throughout the novel. Leto takes his mastery of galactic politics and just governance as well as his entire noble house into a mysterious, unknown world. His son Paul loses everything, journeys far into the desert, questions everything he knows, and rises a more formidable man capable of avenging his father’s murder.

This work was my opportunity to dive into the abyss, to wrestle with the conceptions I held for my instrument, my compositional language, and who I am, to question everything I thought I knew, and surrender to transformation upon the Path of Shai-Hulud.